Ready or not, folks, here comes the Fall 2025-2026 school year. July is the month that reminds Moms and Dads that a new school year is just around the corner. By mid-July, children have between 3 and 6 more weeks of summer freedom before the school bus arrives at the bus stop.
Parents may be glad to see the end of the spontaneous summer break. They have listened for weeks to their kids claiming they are bored. With the end of summer, the children’s complaints that there is nothing to do vanish. No more squabbles among siblings when rain keeps them indoors all day. For young children, however, the approach of the new school year is often fraught with anxiety.
Many adults may remember preparations for the new school year with fondness. They looked forward to seeing classmates again, getting new school outfits, buying school supplies, and the latest book bag character. They happily anticipated the excitement of class trips, new things to do, and enticing subjects to learn each day.
That rosy recollection isn’t true for everyone, though. Back-to-school anxiety in kids is very real. Adults need to recognize the potential for a child’s apprehension about starting a new school after a geographic move. Or the loneliness and fear of an only child starting kindergarten in a strange school for the first time without older siblings to protect them. Then, too, some children may have residual fears from bullying from the previous school year.
The reality is that a child’s school stress may result from various triggers. Here are just a few:
- Separation anxiety (fears that the youngsters will never see their parents, caregivers, or home again)
- Educational pressure anxiety (Grades, timed tests, and general fears of inability to keep up with the educational requirements)
- Social anxiety (extreme shyness, fear of meeting new teachers, new bus drivers, making new friends, and navigating unfamiliar physical environments)
- Coping with a new physical environment (overstimulation due to noisy or unruly students, anxiety about meeting new teachers, new bus drivers, and riding unfamiliar buses that transport them on unfamiliar roads to and from school)
- Coping with the trauma from major life transitions (death of a family member, divorce or separation, a military parent deploying to a far-away location, internal family squabbles)
Stomach aches, headaches, dizziness, difficulty breathing, and outright refusals to go to school are common manifestations of a child’s school stress. Parents may see increased crying or temper tantrums, too. Throughout elementary school, some children may feel anxious when they realize they will return to a stressful atmosphere filled with school tests, oral reports, and difficult math homework. Younger children often need their trusted caregivers to provide examples of tools and skills that stimulate emotional regulation. Children need ways to help them manage and control their emotions each Fall. Adults may do this by exemplifying healthy examples from their activities and reactions to stress. They may also help a child choose healthier outlets for their stress, rather than withdrawal or acting out.
]The following are a few coping strategies for children to help families create a positive approach to upcoming school transitions.
Tip #1: Practice the Daily Routine
Likely, the entire family’s school day routine changes considerably when compared to the less regimented and more relaxed summertime routine. July is not too early to start practicing what the Fall mornings and evenings will look and feel like.
Younger children learn naturally through playtime. The new rules caused by the start of school may be less stressful if approached playfully. For example, mornings will take on excitement and, therefore, new stresses. Children who did not eat breakfast until mid-morning during summer break must learn to start with a nutritious snack to hold them until lunchtime at school. They must get up on time and dress immediately before breakfast. They should ensure that their lunch is in the backpack or that their lunch money is safely secured in the backpack. All these are essential morning activities. Introducing them one at a time as part of a game may take the sting out of the changes.
Bedtime routines also change once school starts. The following bedtime routines may be problematic when school starts:
- Children whose nighttime summer activities included staying up late every night to watch movies with older siblings, or
- Who played video games into the late hours.
One approach that may avoid bedtime arguments is to change bedtime to the earlier Fall schedule gradually. For example, if the school year bedtime is 9:00 pm, introduce the new bedtime by reducing bedtime by 15-20 minutes each week. This slowly eases younger children into the new routine. This is especially important for children starting kindergarten or preschool for the first time.
Tip #2: Take a Trip from Home to the New School
Sometimes, showing an anxious child that it is an easy trip from home to school can alleviate their fears. It doesn’t have to take a lot of planning or explanation. Try just a simple game: “Let’s see how quickly we can get to school from home.” Have the child count how many turns the car makes from the driveway to the school parking lot. Ask each child to remember if the turns are right turns or left turns. It does not matter if this is the actual bus route. The goal is to give them the confidence that getting home from school is not far away, and not scary. That is what is important.
Tip #3: Prepare for the New School Schedule
Young students often benefit from a review of their new class schedule. The kindergarten or first-grade teacher may be willing to provide a sample of her typical teaching day. Going over a sample schedule will teach the youngest students the types of activities that take place in school each day. It may also provide relief to know that free play is permitted in kindergarten and preschool.
Explain that their day may include:
- Taking attendance,
- A sharing circle and what that feels like,
- Story time,
- Nap time, which may just mean quiet time, and
- Yes, the teacher will offer bathroom breaks during each day.
Being able to mentally picture a typical school day provides a reference point that eases insecurity and fear. This teaching tool introduces to a child the critical concept that gathering information about upcoming events often functions as a skill and an emotion regulation tool. This concept will serve the child well throughout life as they navigate levels of school involvement and face employment opportunities later. Information removes the fear of the unknown.
Tip #4: Listen to the Child’s Fears
Talk to school-age children about their fears. Listen without judging or belittling those fears. Don’t fall back on bribery or punishment to change behavior. Avoid arguments and anger. Make the home a safe space where the child may discuss their fears and ask questions without reprisal.
Listen carefully to decipher the cause of their fears. Then, provide coping mechanisms that they can add to a personal toolbox that then allows them to face any fearful situation. Most of all, impress upon them that their caregivers will provide support and guidance where necessary. The child should understand they are not alone in this school endeavor.
If the Child Refuses to Go to School
Sometimes parents employ all the tools available, and a child still refuses to go to school. Keeping a child in school consistently positively impacts educational and social development, critical for success in school and life’s endeavors. When parental sessions do not result in reducing a child’s fears, recognize that the child may require the help of a mental health professional, and/or medicine to reduce the child’s anxiety.
Choosing the Right Therapist that Fits Your Family
As families navigate back-to-school transitions, having the right therapeutic support can make a significant difference. It’s important to choose a therapist who not only understands child development and school-related stress but also honors your family’s unique background, values, and challenges. Practices like Refinery Counseling Services LLC emphasize culturally responsive care and personalized treatment approaches, especially for families with ties to the military or those navigating identity, cultural, or social pressures. Whether your child is facing separation anxiety, emotional overwhelm, or difficulty adjusting to routines, a therapist who creates a safe and affirming space can help both children and caregivers build confidence and resilience.
The Next Step
If you or someone you know has an interest in pursuing individualized therapy related to a child’s back-to-school anxiety, we invite you to contact us today. You may also reach our practice by phone at 706-780-6479 or by email at info@refinerycounselingsvc.com.
