Grief naturally flows from a significant personal loss. To a grieving person, the grieving process may feel as if a tidal wave of grief has swallowed their normal world. This is true whether the loss is the death of a family member or close friend, a career loss, or a financial catastrophe. Whatever the cause of the feeling of loss, the grief is intensely personal. And the grieving process that follows is individualized as well. Grief healing support will ease the grieving journey.
Ride Out the Tidal Wave of Feeling
Various feelings make up the grieving process. A person may feel lost, lonely, and isolated. Guilt feelings often arise for disaster survivors. It is common for people to feel angry at a dead loved one for leaving them alone to cope with life’s uncertainties.
Whatever emotions flare up, it is important to remember that a range of emotions is normal. No right or wrong attaches to such emotions; A person breaks no rules because no rules exist to standardize the grieving process. Accepting the feelings begins the healing process. Self-compassion in grief is essential to success.
Grief Means Emotional Pain and Physical Suffering
Following any type of loss, trouble sleeping is a common complaint. Conversely, sleeping too much may become a way to escape the pain of loss. Also, aggrieved individuals often report no interest in food. Some people have difficulty concentrating and making decisions. All these complaints can make working and planning for the future tough.
In addition, emotional outbursts can hit without warning. A grocery shopping trip following the loss of a beloved pet may continue without incident until the pet parent turns down the pet food aisle. Then, the tears flow unabashedly. Each day is different; crying may be occasional, sporadic, and at times overwhelming. Emotional support for loss is indispensable during the active grieving process.
Physical complaints include headaches, stomach problems, a tightness in the chest, or even joint pain. As time passes, it lessens the intensity of the painful grieving period. That is what makes grief recovery a process, rather than a single event.
What Happens When Grief Lasts More Than a Year?
Sometimes the grieving process seems frozen in time. When that happens, grief recovery enters an unhealthy phase. This phase is known as complicated grief. During this phase, people may deny that there was a loss. They may experience intense physical and emotional pain. They may concentrate too much energy on trying to comprehend the circumstances that led to the loss. They may lose the ability to carry on with their own lives and make plans.
Resolving complicated grief is a serious condition that requires help in the form of professional grief healing support.
Everyone Needs Support to Carry Through
Support systems are critical to successful navigation through the grieving process. There is no shame in asking for help from your personal circle or professional help. Asking for help is the definition of self-compassion in grief.
For example, it is important not to underestimate the value of a personal faith community. Sharing the heart’s emotions and the mind’s uncertainties with fellow members of one’s faith community helps heal the soul. Faith community members can provide a much-needed shot of emotional support for the loss.
Family members, friends, and co-workers who knew the deceased may all form a desperately needed support network. They can help you remember the good times, laugh at the antics the deceased liked to pull, and put memories of the lost person in proper perspective.
In non-death losses, friend circle contacts may provide the missing experience and knowledge needed to move forward.
How Does Grief Counseling Work
Grief recovery comes in various forms. Some people benefit from individualized sessions with a professional therapist. Having an objective person to listen to the feelings may help clarify the path forward.
Other people may benefit from group therapy sessions designed around specific topics, such as death, stress, PTSD, families facing Alzheimer’s disease, etc. In group sessions, participants share an interest in the discussion topic. The participants understand what each person in the group must contend with each day. And they are more inclined to understand the emotions behind the loss.
Hospice caregivers may also provide counseling for family members of a terminally ill patient.
How Can Seniors Find Grieving Help?
As people age into their senior years, they often become isolated.
Geographical location may separate them from family members. Death may take from them the only close social contact they had.
Alternatively, seniors often contend with serious illnesses, mobility issues, or a lack of transportation options that keep them homebound. Thanks to the expansion in popularity of the internet, virtual professional counseling sessions bring group therapy or individualized therapy right into the privacy of your home. Naturally, that assumes that the senior is computer literate and has Wi-Fi service in their location. Not all seniors have such access.
Books are also an available resource. Books can help teach about grief topics and suggest ideas for coping with grief. The local library is an excellent resource. An online book curator may also have online resources about coping with grief.
Seniors should not overlook the resources available from their faith community. Faith communities often offer grief and loss counseling. They can also guide you to other community resources in the local area. It is so important not to underestimate the value of a personal faith community. Sharing the heart’s emotions and the mind’s uncertainties with fellow members of one’s faith community helps heal the soul.
The Grieving Process Is a Long Road: Self-care Required
By this point in the discussion, it is apparent that grieving is a long journey. Navigating that journey successfully requires physical stamina and emotional fortitude. A self-care routine is the way to replenish energy and faith in the future.
Grief is a hard taskmaster. People working through the grieving process must follow a healthy diet, exercise daily, and try to get enough healthy sleep. That is easier than it sounds when the world has turned upside down. To do otherwise, however, is to physically punish the body when you need its strength most. In addition, avoid unhealthy habits like alcohol, smoking, and other substance abuse. Such habits drain the body of energy.
Mealtimes may become especially difficult for people dealing with the loss of a death. Death may mean they may not feel like cooking for one person. They may not want to face the lack of communication around mealtimes.
Non-death losses may take the joy out of everyday living, too, including eating. If possible, eat with friends or other family members. Invite members of the faith community to dinner or lunch. The conversations with each member of a friend circle can provide a more rounded outlook, not only on the loss, but on plans.
Embrace favorite activities. Paint, crochet, go hiking or biking, keep that tennis date, and bake goodies for the faith community’s bake sale. Keep busy but productive.
Contact faith community members for help. Join a prayer circle. Read scripture. Embracing social contacts within the faith community provides solace and hope for the future.
Mourning Takes Time
Remember to let the grieving period take as much time as necessary. It may take more time for young children to adjust to the loss of a parent. Even adult children will feel the immense change in their world.
Postponing major life decisions is usually a clever idea. Wait to sell the house or quit working at least until clear thinking is the norm again.
Moving Forward Is Possible
It may not seem possible, but moving forward after a major loss is not only possible. It is necessary.
If you or someone you care about struggles with the impact of grief and loss, please contact us today. Schedule an appointment for a consultation with one of our experienced therapists. Your therapist will review your situation and guide you toward the best possible path for you.
Refinery Counseling Services is happy to provide either designs for an individual or group session for you, based on your personal goals and needs. Our mission is to empower you on your mental health journey. We strive to provide compassionate care of the body, mind, and soul. We believe in your potential to grow and heal. We strive to provide the resources and support that you need on your journey. We encourage you to begin that journey today. After all, the sooner you begin your therapy counseling sessions, the sooner you will feel the recovery begin.
We stand ready to help you and look forward to hearing from you today.
For More Information
If you feel overwhelmed by life’s changes, we invite you to read the article “You Are Not Behind: A Note of Grace for the Overwhelmed.”
