The loss survivors feel after a suicide by a loved one or a friend is fierce and may last for a long time. Those feelings may erupt suddenly as a range of emotions or evolve. The emotions may take the form of anger, anxiety, confusion, disbelief, fear, guilt, grief, rejection, resentment, sadness, and even shame for the loved one’s act or for their own failure to stop the act.
Each bereaved person feels some or all these emotions, and in no set order. No right or wrong way exists in bereavement. Such an overwhelming loss may cause psychological upheavals in the survivor’s daily life, such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), depression, and social isolation due to the social stigma surrounding suicide.
How Grief Affects Mental Health
In addition to the emotions listed above, coping with suicide loss makes survivors feel abandoned, shocked, numb, in denial, self-blame, and withdrawn. They may suffer sleeplessness or loss of appetite. They may struggle with concentration and have difficulty making even simple decisions. Survivors may feel grief-stricken that they had no time to say goodbye. They may feel guilty that they did not see the suicide warning signs. The body may experience physical pain in the form of headaches or muscle pain.
The way each survivor’s body and mind react to a suicide depends on the coping mechanisms they have in place. As is true in general with mental health issues, taking care of the body is important. For instance, eating healthily, exercising, and getting the appropriate amount of sleep may be challenging in times of grief. Still, these activities offer coping skills that lift the spirit and promote physical well-being. Speaking to the spiritual leader in the survivor’s faith community or attending prayer circle meetings relieves a distressed mind and soul.
How to Comfort Survivors of Suicide
Supporting survivors of suicide means letting them know that talking to friends and family is a positive step. A survivor of suicide may anticipate talking as painful. That is why it is so important to offer compassion, empathy, and acceptance of their conflicted feelings. Anyone can become a survivor support guide, but it requires patience and a non-judgmental attitude.
Sometimes, the suggestion to begin writing or expressing feelings in art or music provides solace. Other times, suicide loss grief support may mean giving the person alone time to sort out their intense feelings. The most important thing friends and family do is to listen as the survivors tell the story they want to tell.
Suicide loss grief support must include an emphasis on the help available in the form of grief counselors, mental health practitioners, and psychotherapists. Friends and family members can guide the survivor’s path toward coping with suicide loss by discerning what is most important to them. Some people may want to lessen their anxiety as the top concern. Others may want to lessen the social isolation they feel. Helping survivors define the help they want and then helping them secure the resources that provide the type of help they need is of paramount importance.
Groups for Suicide Loss Grief Support
The grief people feel after loss from suicide does not subside in a brief time. Feelings of loss can arise years after the suicidal event. That is where support groups may offer comfort to families affected by suicide loss. Group therapy consists of a small number of people who share their thoughts and feelings about grief and other emotions following their loss from suicide. Participation in group therapy for suicide loss may help participants find a new sense of purpose and the strength to continue their life’s path with a renewed focus.
Suicide and Military Service
Suicide is now the second-highest cause of death for military personnel. Just as in civilian life, suicide by military personnel is rarely caused by one factor. Suicide often results from a combination of anxiety and other problems, such as financial problems, legal problems, relationship issues, and other life events. Naturally, combat issues increase the risk of suicide. In addition, combat increases the exposure to PTSD, depression, and substance abuse.
Warning signs for suicide in military personnel include:
- Agitation (anxiety or nervous excitement)
- Insomnia (cannot go to sleep or stay asleep)
- Feelings of hopelessness and feeling trapped
- Suicidal thoughts
- Suicide planning
The Veterans Administration (VA) provides services to suicide loss survivors, including free bereavement services, chaplain services, and 24/7 survivor support. Also, non-VA support for suicide survivors is available from the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) and the Alliance for Hope.
Coping with Suicide Loss Is a Journey
Survivors of suicide loss embark on a complex journey. A loved one’s or a friend’s suicide changes the survivor in ways they cannot imagine while dealing with the initial stages of grief. Yes, every person faces grief after suicide in their own way. Yes, the journey may take years and may have points of regression along the way.
During the initial stages of grief, it may not seem possible that the suicide survivor would reach a place where they can help others; yet there is hope for healing in the future. That healing process may impact the survivor’s life tremendously. While group survivor therapy is helpful at the personal level, some suicide survivors manage to reinvent their lives more universally. With small, manageable steps, hope for a better future takes hold.
Reinventing the trajectory of their lives to help others is a way of honoring the sacred memory of a lost loved one. In this way, the loss of someone by suicide does not just disappear or become forgotten. Rather, the loss carries forward on a path to growth, healing, and eventually helping others.
Some survivors of suicide find a new purpose in life by accepting the role of advocate for people similarly affected. Some advocates work towards suicide prevention efforts. Other advocates work toward helping others learn to forgive their lost loved ones and themselves for things they feel they should have done differently. Forgiveness is the ultimate step toward rebuilding life and moving forward.
The Next Step Forward
We have come full circle to the concept we introduced at the beginning of this article: Talking to family and friends is helpful. Talking to mental health professionals may be the first big step in healing. So, when the time is right for you, select the mental health professional that best suits your mental health journey.
The following are things to consider when making your choice of mental health professional:
- Why do you seek therapy? Are you dealing with depression, anxiety, trauma, or coping with suicide loss?
- Are you looking for ways to balance your life from the extreme emotional turmoil left after a suicide loss?
- If you think you may need medicine to control your grief process, then you may need a psychiatrist who can treat grief after suicide with therapy and medicine.
When you answer the questions above, seek a mental health professional with experience in the issues you face. Refinery Counseling Services is the premier private psychotherapy practice in Georgia. Therapists may have specialties. For example, Refinery Counseling Services is woman-minority-veteran owned, and our therapists practice faith-based counseling for those clients who make their desire known. Our therapists also value cultural competency and the harmony of values.
Our therapists are happy to offer a free initial consultation during which you may ask questions and become comfortable with the practice environment and ambiance. Feel free to ask about our experience with your areas of concern. Ask us to describe a typical session and explain the differences between individual and group therapy options. We want you to feel comfortable and safe sharing your experiences and issues in our space.
Take the Time to Reach Out Today
If you, a loved one, or a friend is in a mental health crisis and in need of help supporting survivors of suicide, please contact us today. We invite you to schedule an initial consultation with one of our therapists to assess your situation. Your therapist will review your personal background and your struggle with mental health issues. Then, working together, you and your therapist will decide the appropriate treatment path that meets your needs and starts you on a path toward your goals.
We offer compassionate care and support. You can heal and grow in your own time along your mental health journey. We promise to provide the support you require, as well as steer you toward the resources that will help you along the way.
To learn why mental health matters for everyone, you may enjoy reading our March 20, 2025, article entitled “ Breaking the Stigma: Why Mental Health Matters for Everyone.”
We look forward to meeting you and supporting your mental health process of personal change.
Additional Reading
If you or a loved one is dealing with the fallout of PTSD, you may enjoy the June 23, 2025, article entitled “ What Is PTSD? Understanding the Silent Struggles of Trauma Survivors.”
