A medical diagnosis of breast cancer can mean a devastating blow to a loved one, and that blow may take form in many ways. Each person is unique, so their reactions to a breast cancer diagnosis will be unique, too.
Naturally, any cancer diagnosis would make anyone think of their own mortality. But a breast cancer diagnosis hits especially hard because it leaves such a visible mark on the body. And the area is one that females associate with motherhood and procreation. (A reminder: While the balance of this article deals with breast cancer as it applies to women, readers should remember that men get breast cancer, too, although it is rare and occurs at much lower rates. For the most part, breast cancer in men occurs in older men. Anyone with breast tissue can suffer from breast cancer’s devastating and potentially fatal diagnosis, resulting in emotional distress.)
In addition to raising considerations of mortality, that diagnosis’s devastation also impacts everyday life in the here and now. If the patient begins chemotherapy, the body may physically rebel with bouts of overwhelming exhaustion, nausea, weird tastes, and hair loss. Radiation treatments, on the other hand, may leave a patient tired with localized skin irritation and breast tenderness, even some swelling.
Supporting a loved one with breast cancer means providing mental and physical, and emotional care. The loved one may sink into depression, which robs her of the energy to deal with the normal activities of living. She may experience Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). A cancer patient who has children may feel helpless to manage homework duties, chores, chauffeuring responsibilities to scout meetings, and other after-school activities. If employed, a cancer patient may feel unable to concentrate on the job’s duties and responsibilities. This can lead to worry about taking too much time off from work, a lack of paid sick time off, and ultimately getting fired from the job. All these concerns also bring financial worries about paying for expensive medical care. It is fair to say that supporting a loved one with breast cancer requires strength of heart and a certain amount of faith that everything will be ok. Breast cancer support requires multitasking ability.
The following article provides three tips that friends can use to make life easier for someone challenged by breast cancer.
Tip #1: Understanding the Mental Health and Cancer Impacts
Receiving a breast cancer diagnosis, whether anticipated or not, changes the person’s life and the lives of their families and community, including their caregivers. It does not take much imagination to understand that the diagnosis causes feelings of deep emotional distress. Breast cancer patients often feel sad, fearful, angry, or confused. They may withdraw from social activities and isolate themselves from friends and family, which then brings on feelings of loneliness.
If the sadness goes on for a prolonged period, the patient may also experience trouble sleeping, lack of desire to eat, mental concentration problems, and depression related fatigue. Medical doctors and therapists also recognize another related impact of a cancer diagnosis: adjustment disorder. This term refers to the psychological response to dealing with stress from the diagnosis, the treatments involved, and other issues such as side effects from treatments, the progression of the disease, and recurrence of the disease.
Breast cancer support in this area may involve lifting the loved one spiritually and lightening their mood with memories of good times shared. Emotional care tips may include:
- Listening without judgment
- Upholding the loved one’s feelings
- Offering emotional support consistently
- Learning more about what to expect during the loved one’s cancer story
- Respecting the need for space or desire for company
- Suggesting psychological counseling
- Suggesting the patient express their feelings about the cancer diagnosis through writing or art
Most importantly, allow the loved one to make their own decisions about their healthcare without judgment.
Tip #2: Become Part of her Breast Cancer Team
Do not wait for the cancer patient to ask for help. She may not want to be a burden on family and friends. She may not feel up to mentally adding up the things they cannot do for themselves. The best thing is for the family to make a list of things that you might want someone to help you with if the roles were reversed.
The following list outlines practical things family members can do to support a loved one with breast cancer, including:
- Help with grocery shopping (or set up home deliveries of needed groceries and other goods).
- Assist with prescription drug renewals and pickup.
- Run errands.
- Do laundry.
- Help with homework for kids.
- Prepare school lunches the night before.
- Help take care of pets, especially when the patient has overnight hospital visits.
- If driving is no longer possible for the cancer patient, set up a schedule of upcoming doctor appointments and arrange rides among various friends and relatives to share taking the patient to doctor appointments, etc.
- Clean house or arrange for cleaners to come in to help.
- Do yard work (cut grass, snow removal)
- Set up an update page on social media to keep family and friends up-to-date
This list is not exhaustive, so feel free to use your imagination to suit a particular case. The general idea is to help manage whatever workload there is so the patient can concentrate on getting well and relaxing. Removing the stressors where possible is the ultimate goal.
Tip #3: Go to Doctor Appointments with Her
Especially when the patient has difficulty concentrating, potentially the most important thing to do is to go with the patient to their doctor’s visits. This act relieves the patient from transportation issues. It also allows the family member to take notes or ask questions that the cancer patient may not be able to remember or formulate.
A family member can also help by going with the patient to chemotherapy or radiation visits. If you cannot attend with the person, you can visit by video chat while she gets the treatment.
Family members can do much to support the mental health of a cancer patient by:
- Keeping communication open
- Asking permission to seek additional information about the loved one’s condition
- Considering long-term effects and understanding how the illness and treatment are draining the loved one’s energy
- Suggesting light physical activity to keep the person active
Be present in your loved one’s life. Help them understand they are not alone in this battle, neither personally nor professionally. Let them know you understand the fight is a daunting task, but you are by their side.
Find a Therapist to Help Your Loved One Cope
Mental health professionals who are trained in mental health issues are called psychotherapists. Therapists treat a range of behavioral and social disorders through communication and interactive therapeutic practice arts.
A therapist assesses a client’s mental health and collaborates with the client to reduce their symptoms so that emotional well-being improves.
When searching for a therapist, bear in mind the following points as you evaluate a practice:
- Emphasis on cultural competency and community engagement
- Compassionate care and faith-based therapy
- A wide range of therapy options, such as individual therapy, group therapy, family therapy, and child and adolescent therapy
- Veterans’ issues, such as the impact of disability on mental health
- Rape counseling or childhood violence
- Marital therapy to sort relationship issues
- Grief and loss therapy
- Suicide survivor support
- Substance or alcohol abuse counseling, and
- Anger management therapy.
Do due diligence when researching the available therapists. Not all therapists are the same. Learn the educational background of potential therapists and the staff who make up their practices. Ask questions to understand whether the practice’s mission fits with personal goals. Choose a therapist who makes you comfortable talking about your life experiences and goals. Seeking a space within which you feel safe to share your confidences is critical to good outcomes and emotional well-being.
Learning to Thrive Together
If your loved one needs help living with a breast cancer diagnosis, please contact us today. Our experienced therapists are happy to schedule an initial consultation for your loved one. In the initial consultation, your therapist will assess the person’s current situation, review mental health history, and work with your loved one to determine the best course of treatment to meet their needs and goals. Feel free to ask questions about our firm’s therapy practices and become comfortable discussing the patient’s goals and needs with their therapist.
Refinery Counseling Services is a premier private practice located in Georgia. Our mission is to empower every client as they work toward better mental health and personal growth. Our therapists are committed to compassionate care and to providing a safe space for clients to heal. Our firm is a woman-minority-veteran-owned firm with experience in veterans’ issues, including how disability impacts mental health. We practice cultural competency and commit to community engagement for our clients.
We look forward to hearing from you soon. If you have an interest in learning more about grief and healing, we invite you to read our May 26, 2025, article entitled “Grief and Healing: Coping with Loss on Memorial Day.”
