The statistics on mental illness in the U.S. are startling. One out of five adults in the U.S. suffers from some form of mental illness, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness’ report in 2024. That translates to millions of people.
Even more concerning is that the same report says the average delay between the onset of mental illness and treatment is about 11 years. That is 11 years of individuals suffering through their daily lives. We know that therapists can teach skills to help the suffering regulate emotions. So, that means the management of some mental illnesses is achievable.
So, What Is Emotional Regulation?
Many people undergo stressful incidents in their lives that cause emotional triggers, resulting in anxiety, depression, or sensory overload. Everyone’s triggers and their intensity are unique to them. Triggers may materialize as a sight, a thought, a sound, or a smell. The triggers lead to emotions or thoughts.
Unpleasant emotions may come from automatic negative thoughts experienced during childhood. Ideally, the discovery of emotional regulation skills also begins in childhood. A child’s first exposure to their personal triggers often occurs during playtime or other interpersonal experiences. So, it makes sense that children may begin to try self-regulation in the play yard or school yard. They simply may not have the necessary life experience to understand how to respond to unpleasant emotions with conscious thought. Instead, they respond impulsively.
Reacting impulsively without conscious thought when faced with emotional or instinctive triggers creates negative outcomes. Whether accomplished through unregulated thoughts, emotions, words, or deeds, impulsive reactions can intensely damage personal and business relationships. Learning emotional regulation skills is therefore crucial to effectively modify the way a person responds to their known triggers.
As adults, we can consider emotional regulation as a set of four skills: recognition, respect, regulation, and response (or, reframing thoughts). First, the recognition skill requires a person to identify (that is, name) the emotions evoked by a given trigger. Next, the term we call respect means not to judge oneself for feeling the emotion, understanding that the emotion is a protective coping mechanism. Then, the term regulation refers to calming or reducing the nervous system’s reflex response to the emotional trigger, such as by employing deep breathing exercises. Finally, once the nervous system regulates, the term response requires the person to modify their emotional response from the impulsive reaction to one that results from a considered, thoughtful response. Another way to view response is that it requires the person to reframe their thoughts about the trigger, that is, change the negative thoughts evoked by the emotional trigger to positive thoughts.
Faith and Emotional Regulation
The Bible talks about faith and emotional regulation as a way of motivating people to focus on prayer and on God’s truth, instead of giving in to control by one’s feelings. Focusing on God’s truth means judging feelings against what the scripture teaches people to do. Focusing on God’s truth means committing to letting the Word guide the way.
As a popular hymn tells the faithful: “Take it to the Lord in prayer.” The Bible would appear to agree that taking problems like emotional anxieties to God in prayer is the appropriate response. That is because emotional growth and self-control come through a stronger relationship with God and through divine help from the Holy Spirit. Taking troubles to God in daily prayer releases those uncomfortable feelings from the individual’s care and demonstrates their trust in God’s plan. Faith demands that a person listen to God when he speaks through the scriptures and prayers. Listen more, talk less.
The Bible speaks about faith and emotional regulation in the same manner as psychologists and philosophers talk about self-control. That is, scripture warns people to be slow to anger and not to let anger engulf them in sin. That is a warning not to indulge in anger but to manage emotions, so emotions do not control behavior. Emotions are a gift from God that requires management and self-control with the help of the Holy Spirit and the guidance provided by the scriptures.
How Mindfulness and Faith Work Together
Sometimes critics of the mindfulness concept say that it does not belong in the Christian philosophy. They believe that, at its core, mindfulness is a concept rooted in Eastern philosophy, with its origins in Buddhism. That is only half the story, however, because the Bible also demands mindfulness, albeit under a different name. That is, both mindfulness and Christian faith urge followers to remain aware in the present moment. Both mindfulness and faith also embrace acceptance through nonjudgmental behavior.
Christians find it straightforward to integrate mindfulness and being present into their religious practices. Their faith demands they maintain focus on their relationship with God. Christians rely on God’s guidance when managing life’s hardships. When they employ His Word as a guide in response to daily stressors, they are practicing Christian mindfulness. When Christians focus on God’s presence, they practice mindfulness in the context of their faith. Consequently, the two concepts are compatible.
Searching for Spiritual Calm
Mindfulness is a secular practice that has deep roots in traditional spiritual practices. Mindfulness may open the path toward inner peace and connection to the divine. For many faiths, searching for spiritual calm means seeking peace through patience and acceptance.
For Christians, spiritual calm means abiding through life’s hardships and uncertainties without anger. Spiritual calm means accepting with grace whatever comes your way in life. Seeking to maintain a calm mind requires the elimination of earthly distractions. A calm mind prepares the way to receive spiritual insights. A calm spirit moves beyond the physical realm to fashion an ever-stronger relationship with God and experience His presence in daily life.
The Gift of God’s Presence
God’s presence is truly a gift that the faithful experience through prayer, church services, and occasionally through extraordinary events. God’s gift of presence is love, peace, and joy intended to empower His imperfect faithful. Examples of God’s presence are everywhere if the heart is open to perceive Him. For example, God is present when He walks with the faithful through the shadow of death and when He guides and comforts the troubled and the anxious.
Your Presence Is Also a Gift to Others
Every person has the potential to give the gift of presence. Whenever you give undivided attention to friends, family, or a stranger in need, your presence becomes a valuable gift to them. For example, the Bible talks about visiting orphans and widows as a valuable gift. Scripture suggests that such visits are religion in its purest form.
Giving yourself (your time) to someone else who is sick or grieving is a gift of comfort. Being present in the lives of others is a greater gift than any material item. Truly choosing to be present means you invest completely in the moment, and the mind does not wander elsewhere.
Choosing the Right Therapist for You
Refinery Counseling Services (RCS) is a private, premier mental health and consulting practice located in Georgia. RCS is unique in that it is female-owned, minority-owned, and veteran-owned, and the firm’s clients reflect this model.
Our firm’s mission is to restore the mental health and well-being of our clients. We strive to empower individuals, families, and the communities that embrace our clients. We help establish and nurture healthy human relationships while we enhance, encourage, and equip individuals to lead full lives within their communities.
We strive to provide a wide range of services that meet clients where they live. Services include:
- Individual psychotherapy (talk therapy)
- Group psychotherapy (talk therapy)
- Family therapy
- Child or adolescent therapy
- Couples therapy
RCS is a Christian-led therapy practice with a faith foundation. That means we understand that mental health counseling respects and values the whole person – mind, body, and spirit. Our therapists use prayer, Christian values, and scripture as part of the healing process for clients that desire those precepts as part of their healing process. In the healing process, we believe that faith is often a source of comfort and encourages trust in that which is stronger than the individual’s struggle.
We invite you to contact us today to schedule an initial consultation with one of our experienced therapists. Your therapist will discuss your current situation, your background, and your goals for your mental health journey. Together, you and your therapist will decide which of our services is best for you. We strive to offer a safe place for all who seek healing to share their innermost thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. Most importantly, your therapist will design a treatment plan that is tailored to fit your lifestyle, your needs, and your personal goals.
We look forward to hearing from you soon. We recognize the trust you place in us as we guide you through your mental health journey. With patience and acceptance, every person has the potential to grow, to heal, and lead the healthiest life possible. We stand ready to assist you on that journey.
